Fly fishing

Top 10 Fictional Civil Servants

We dug in CSW archives for the definitive countdown of CSWfavorite made tangerines. Illustrations by John Leviers

Terri Coverly

First impression: First episode of Armando Iannucci’s political satire The thickness of it

Age: Actress Joanna Scanlan was 44 when she accepted the role in 2005

Use: Communications Director

Department: The Department of Social Affairs and Citizenship (DoSAC, formerly DSA)

Interests: Call the midwife (has been known to hum the theme during meetings), leave on time, bring her dog up England has an incredible talent

Key information: Was previously Head of Press for Waitrose. Survived five Secretaries of State, but still dreams of kicking it all off and opening a tearoom in Ludlow.

Most likely to say: “I’m sorry if you think I’m obstructing, but I can’t and I won’t do what you’re asking.”

A cartoon illustration by John Levers of Arthur Weasley, a middle-aged man in a checkered suit, holding a rubber ducky, looking puzzled

Arthur Weasley

First impression: JK Rowling’s 1998 novel, Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets

Age: 65 (approx.)

Place of origin : Ottery St. Catchpole, Devon

Department: Misuse of muggle artifacts

Organization: Ministry of Magic

Interests: Muggles, flying cars, spending time with family, wizarding equality

Key information: While working for the Ministry of Magic, Arthur worked on the Muggle Protection Act, which helped protect non-magical people from the dangers of anti-Muggle discrimination.

Most likely to say: “Tell me, what exactly is the function of a rubber duck?”

A cartoon illustration by John Levers of Natalie from Love Actually, holding a tea tray with an alarmed expression on her faceNatalie

First impression: The 2003 movie love in fact

Age: Late 20’s

Place of origin : Wandsworth (the dubious end)

Use: The Prime Minister’s Tea Lady

Organization: No. 10

Interests: Politics, in a way

Key information: Natalie is a new housekeeper to the Prime Minister, specifically the one who serves him his tea and cookies. Her first meeting with the PM could have gone better: she called him by his first name and accidentally let out a few swear words. It couldn’t have been so bad, though, since she still got to smooch him in the end.

Most likely to say: “I had a terrible premonition that I was going to fuck the first day… Oh, shit!”

“Diplomacy is about surviving until the next century – politics is about surviving until Friday afternoon” Sir Humphrey Appleby, Yes Minister

A cartoon illustration by John Levers of Humphrey Appleby, an angular-faced, curly-haired man wearing a suit, with one eyebrow raised, holding a sheaf of papersHumprey Appleby

First impression: “Open Government” episode of Whitehall’s flagship sitcom Yes Minister

Age: The late Sir Nigel Hawthorne was 48 when he started playing Sir Humphrey

Place of origin : Haslemere, Surrey

Use: Permanent Secretary; cabinet secretary

Organization: Department of Administrative Affairs, later the Cabinet Office

Interests: Preserving the status quo

Key information: Sir Humphrey is known for his elitism, his deviousness and his ability to deploy deliberately obscure language when talking to his minister Jim Hacker in order to get the result he wants.

Most likely to say: “Diplomacy is about surviving until the next century – politics is about surviving until Friday afternoon.”

A cartoon illustration by John Levers of Diana Prince, smiling in a suit and big glasses, holding a red labeled folder Diana Prince

First impression: Number 1 of Sensational comics1942

Age: 23

Place of origin : Themyscira

Use: Prior to her position as an agent who controls dangerous metahumans, Diana served as an army nurse, intelligence officer, astronaut, and UN employee, to name a few.

Organization: Department of Metahuman Affairs

Interests: Lassos, feminism

Key info: Diana Prince is the alter-ego of superheroine Wonder Woman, a persona she adopted after realizing she wanted a life away from the fame of her heroic deeds. During her time as an agent in the Department of Metahuman Affairs, her mission is – ironically enough – to capture Wonder Woman.

Most likely to say: “I know who raised me…and why I was raised.”

A cartoon illustration by John Levers of Dr Alfred Jones of salmon fishing in Yemen, holding a fishing net holding a huge salmon, hovering over himAlfred Jones

First impression: Paul Torday’s 2007 novel, Salmon fishing in Yemen

Age: Actor Ewan McGregor was 40 when he played Dr Alfred Jones in the 2011 film adaptation of the book

Use: fishing specialist

Department: National Fisheries Center of Excellence

Organization: Department of Environment, Food and Rural Affairs

Interests: Salmon

Key information: Fishing expert Alfred Jones is contacted by Harriet, a financial adviser whose wealthy client has the unlikely idea of ​​bringing fly fishing to the Yemen desert. Dr Jones resists, but the FCO and Prime Minister have their own reasons for wanting the plan to go ahead…

Most likely to say: “When things get tough in my life, I talk to my fish.”

“I’m sorry if you think I’m obstructing, but I can’t and I won’t do what you’re asking” Terri Coverly, the thickness of it

A cartoon illustration by John Levers of Tracy Jacks from the eponymous song Blur looking angry with his hands on his hips and standing in front of a bulldozerJack Tracy

First impression: In the 1994 song Blur, Jack Tracy

Age: He is over 40

Place of origin : Just a train ride from Walton

Use: “Work in the public service”

Interests: He’s a golf fanatic (but his putt is erratic)

Key info: Tracy Jacks is a very dissatisfied civil servant, who ends up giving up her “steady job” and suffers a kind of nervous breakdown – along with running around naked and bulldozing her house.

Most likely to say: “That’s so overrated!”

A cartoon illustration by John Levers of Winston Smith from 1984 in front of a poster that says Winston Smith

First impression: George Orwell’s 1949 novel, One thousand nine hundred and eighty four

Age: 39

Place of origin : Oceania

Use: Clerk

Department: Archives Department

Organization: Ministry of Truth

Interests: Revolution, rebellion, books and gin

Key info: Although he works for a totalitarian government as a re-author of historical documents, Winston dreams of revolution and freedom. Secretly, his political curiosity drives him to learn more about its oppressive government and to commit acts of rebellion.

Most likely to say: “Down with Big Brother” are the famous words Winston repeatedly scribbled in his journal

A cartoon illustration by John Levers of John Frobisher of Torchwood with an alien sitting in front of himJohn Frobisher

First impression: Russell T Davies TV Drama, Torchwood: Children of Earth: Day One

Age: Actor Peter Capaldi was 51 when he started playing John Frobisher

Use: Permanent Secretary since 2003. The 90s were spent working as Director of Crime Policy

Organization: home office

Interests: aliens

Key info: Considered indispensable by the government, John Frobisher served as a liaison for the collusion between 456, a drug-trafficking alien race, and the British government. Things went downhill even further when he ordered the assassination of everyone involved with the group, including Captain Jack Harkness of Torchwood.

Most likely to say: “I have been authorized to offer you one child for every million inhabitants of planet Earth. That’s about 6,700 in total.

A cartoon illustration by John Levers of Harry Pearce, a bald man in a black suit, with the words Harry Pearce

First impression: Although Shalt Not Kill, the first episode of the BBC spy drama Spooks

Age: 62

Place of origin : London

Use: Head of Section D

Department: Fight against terrorism

Organization: MI5

Interests: his work, Ruth Evershed

Key info: A former soldier and MI6 agent, Harry Pearce joined the Counter Terrorism Department and is credited with saving the lives of Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher and John Major. When he’s not busy being the face of the War on Terror, you’ll find him harassing anyone who walks into his office without knocking first.

Most likely to say: “We can never win the war on terrorism. We can contain it. We can prevent its worst consequences, but we can never defeat it. So when we get an offer to talk, no matter how shy, we accept it. We must.”

And an honorable mention goes to our favorite servant of the Crown…

A cartoon illustration by John Levers of James Bond lying down in a suit and holding a martini glass.  A speech bubble reads

First impression: Ian Fleming’s 1953 novel, Casino Royale

Age: CLASSIFIED

Place of origin : CLASSIFIED

Use: Commander Royal Navy, CMG, RNVR and Senior Operations Officer

Department: 00 Branch

Organization: MI6

Interests: Gadgets, women, cigarettes and martinis (shaken, not stirred)

Key information: Bond – equipped with both license and seek-to-kill – jets around the world for national security missions

Most likely to say: “Only M would want me to be court-martialed for illegal use of government equipment.”

This story first appeared in CSW in April 2015